If you want to start a heated family discussion while planning a wedding, bring up the topic of whether or not children should attend a wedding. Having worked with many brides and their families, I have been privy to many family discussions on this subject. And it’s not always pretty!
I have been asked my opinion from brides, their moms and the moms of children who have and have not been excluded from the happy event. So I thought I’d like to explore the topic, looking at it from all sides (because there are WAY more than just two sides to this story). As with many of life’s situations, there is no absolute right or wrong. It’s about what works for each person, but always considering the other’s feelings. So here we go…..
Let me start by saying that I’m a mom of three lovely girls, all now teenagers. I’ve been a bride who had to decide whether or not children were to be invited to my own wedding. I’ve been to weddings as a guest before I had children and I’ve been to weddings as a mom, sometimes with my girls and sometimes not. So I think I’ve personally covered all the “children at weddings” bases.
When speaking to brides who prefer to have an adult only wedding, their feelings are clear. They and their family are spending much time, effort and money on an elegant, beautiful wedding. They do not want babies crying during the ceremony (who wants to hear that on the video for the rest of their lives?), they do not want children running around the reception, getting in the way of the adults dancing and mingling and they feel children wouldn’t enjoy it anyway (at least not for long), so why have them there?
It’s not that these brides don’t like children. They just feel that it’s not an appropriate event for them.
Tell that to the parents of those children! When their children are not invited, many parents take that as a personal insult. This is especially true if it’s a family member’s child(ren). Heaven help the bride who tells her sister or fiance’s sister to please leave the children at home.
There is also the situation where families are traveling long distance to attend the wedding. Sometimes these parents truly do not have anyone to leave the kids with or want to leave them. I’ve been in this situation, so I do understand this predicament.
So what is a bride to do? Remember, the way a delicate situation like this is handled can leave lasting feelings (good and bad) on everyone concerned.
What are some solutions? Here are a few of ours.
1. Brides – if you are absolute in your decision of no children, state that very clearly on your save the date cards and invitations. You, your mom or another close relative might also call or email family and friends to let them know.
2. If you have an age at which children are invited, perhaps 11 or 12 and older, note that on the invites.
3. Offer the parents a solution for their wedding day childcare. One of my favorite suggestions is for the bride or her family to hire a couple of babysitters for the day. If you are having the wedding at or near a hotel, rent a room just for kids and the sitters. Order pizzas, have dvds and games for them. If the children are old enough, the sitter can take them down to the hotel pool. That way, parents can check in on their little ones and feel secure in their care.
4. Where do you find sitters for the kids? Get referrals from friends, co-workers, family. Older teens are great for the job – they have a ton of energy and small children think they’re cool. There are also professional childcare services that provide licensed care.
5. If the wedding is at a private home or venue, create an area just for children, again with supervision. This is a great option for parents with babies or toddlers. They can quickly check up on them and then go back and enjoy the wedding.
We’d love to hear from brides who had to handle the “children at weddings” issue at their own weddings? Or are you a bride who is trying to deal with this delicate situation for your upcoming wedding? Let us know what you think!
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Destination weddings are all the rage and the trend is growing. What’s more romantic than jetting off to a tropical island or an old world European castle? Whether it’s just you and your betrothed for a private elopement or a large gathering of family and friends who join in your celebration, destination weddings are exciting!
Choosing your bridal gown for a destination wedding is also an exciting experience, but can have special considerations for brides. How will the dress travel? Will it fit in my luggage? What do I do with it once I get to my location?
We’ve found a beautiful selection of gowns that are perfect for the far away wedding or even one right in your own hometown! They’re light and flowing, but big on style. All are now available for the 2015 bridal season. What’s even better, most have super quick deliveries or are in stock ready to go, so no waiting 5-6 months for your dress to arrive!
Mignon, known for glamorous evening gowns, has come out with a white collection that our brides are loving! They are beautifully detailed, flowing chiffon skirts and fit perfectly. You’ll love the easy simplicity of wearing a light gown, yet still feel like a bride in the most special of dresses.
La Sposa by Pronovias. The 2015 bridal collection is out and an exciting new group of gowns that we like to call “boho-chic” are a new addition to the collection. These are perfect for the bride who loves the non-traditional gown that shows off her individual personality. La Sposa also speaks to the bride that loves classic bridal with a lighter feel. We’re very excited about these new gowns and will have them at Epiphany in the next few weeks!
New gowns and collections are arriving weekly at Epiphany with the best of 2015! Stay tuned for postings of all our new arrivals here at the blog or follow us on Facebook. Any questions about the gowns you see here? Email or call us at 831-626-7700.
Epiphany Boutique is located in downtown Carmel-by-the-Sea, California on Mission Street btw 5th and 6th. We are California’s Destination Bridal Boutique and invite brides everywhere to visit!
Big Sur, California is the setting for this very pretty, pretty wedding.
The location is the Big Sur River Inn, right on the Carmel River. Carissa and her bridesmaids chose their bridesmaid dress from the Watters Collection, a gorgeous one shoulder, full length crinkle chiffon in the softest of colors, buff. It’s the perfect neutral that works with so many skin tones as well as a perfect backdrop for accessories and flower colors.
Thank you, Carissa, for sharing these great pics of your girls! All the ladies were such a pleasure to work with. Photography is by Jacqueline Pilar Photography.
For more information about the Watters Collection as well as all the bridesmaids collections we carry, drop us a note or give us a call at 831-626-7700. All our bridesmaid dresses include alterations. Your bridesmaids will love the savings!